Hello everyone! I'm excited to share some news about how I've been for the past two days. Let me start off with myself. I recently was on vacation from work and school and it was the best week of my life. I slept so much as if I haven't slept in days! It felt great and although I said to myself I was going to work on assignments, I never got to that due to oversleeping. However, I've realized that so much stress came off my shoulders. I forgot how important it was to step away from everything and take a moment to think about yourself and your mindset.
I made a few changes in my life that I believe have helped me deal with my anger problems. Before I get ahead of myself, I want to start off with some background information.
I was born in Mexico, Cuernavaca and came to the U.S when I was three. I basically grew up here because I can't remember anything from Mexico. Growing up I saw a lot of beautiful things like becoming a big sister to my brother and sister but I also saw a lot of negative things such as my parents fighting verbally and psychically. My father was always strict and I barely out of the house, it was always a problem with my dad. I always saw so much anger in him and I learned how he took out his anger. Although when I was in my early teens, I turned my problems into excuses and starting doing things that I regret today. I knew that my anger was getting the best of me when I would fight with my parents for no reason. There was one thing that I said frequently and it was saying "I can work on my anger issues" ; at first I would but things would turn the other way around.
I'm currently in a relationship with my boyfriend who i've been with close to two years and our relationship is very special to me because i've never been in a relationship that I can see myself with him for a long time. Like all relationships there will be their ups and downs. Lately it has been in it's downs and I'm the one to blame for. Every time we fight it starts because of me and for the STUPIDEST reason ever! In my head I want to be right whether I'm wrong and that mindset got too much into my head. I would push his feelings away and I never wanted to talk about the problem. This bothered him and I can tell it was but I couldn't bring myself to talk about it just for the fact that I wanted to be right!
We recently got into a fight and I know many couples can relate to this, he brought up many points that were true. It broke me up inside but I had to do something. I couldn't let my anger get in between me and my relationship or with anyone else close to me. That's when I realized I was truly going to change for the better.
To start off with what I did differently was three things...
1. Write down what you feel : I'm not talking about writing a paragraph, literally write down one word that you can describe yourself in your current situation.
2. Read : Read a good book that can entertain you and keep your mind busy besides getting angry at things that you shouldn't have in the first place.
3. Compromise : This might be a little difficult at first but this has worked for me. I promised my boyfriend that I wouldn't take out my anger on him if he did the same. When I feel like blowing up on him he reminds me of this compromise and I take a moment and think about what I'm doing/ feeling.
So far I've been happier and I don't feel overwhelmed like I normally am. Little things like this does help me to improve myself and I hope that this can help someone else. Don't lose hope, things do get better.. it just takes time.
